Facebook Freak Out

Oh well, I knew the day would come when I would finally freak out over Facebook. I HATE Facebook. I never wanted to join FB, I only tried it to search out my old friend, Roseanne Fusco. Instead, a bunch of people from the 70's, most of whom didn't want to be my friend way back then, started to send me friend requests. I truly believe they only wanted to see if I had gained as much weight as they had after all these years. After awhile of FB'ing, I decided that I actually have enough friends. I can hardly keep up with my "non FB" friends' birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, grandchildren, etc.....and even my own, so how can I have 176 friends who expect me to comment on their FB status, remark about photos of their kids, accept a martini, or help them get a cow for their farm? I can't do it.


I've received about five friend requests lately that I haven't responded to. One is from my 68 year old aunt! OMG. I hope she isn't into Farmville. I hope she doesn't get insulted that I won't "friend" her. I like her just the way she is....I don't need to know anymore about her than I already know. Same goes for my daughter-in-laws. I don't need to know that they "friended" my ex-husband. However, I think I was friends with them first.


The second time I re-upped with FB, I had an issue with the amount of info I was throwing out there. I can't figure out the privacy settings, so I decided to be non-descript. I updated my profile and changed my relationship status and in doing so, started a chain-reaction that crossed from the Pacific to the Atlantic. My daughter-in-law called to ask me what was going on? Did I break up with my long-time boyfriend and not tell her? She had received 6 inquires about my "status change" and she had to get back to everyone. What didn't make any sense is why didn't anyone just write on my wall to ask me?


Another thing that bothers me about FB is that just because we might share the same last name, it doesn't mean we are related....I use my maiden name hypenated with my married name.....You can't be my relative if the married name is the same as yours. FB people, it doesn't work that way.


FB people, I am bored to hear of your travels and I don't care that you shopped all day and are tired (hey buddy, I work with you...didn't you call in sick today?) I don't need to know that you got dozens of Mardi Gras beads. I don't care if you are married 17 days, 1 month or 13 weeks. Same goes for your kids. If I am required to buy a gift, I only want to know when they are completing a full year.


So, I have quit FB. I've quit before, but had to go back because my brother's cat friended me and he was just so cute that I couldn't resist....After all, I guess we are actually, sort of related. But this time, I am quitting for sure. I mean it...No more!


Today I heard that 26 year-old Mark Zuckerberg was anointed Time's Man of the Year. Damn you Mark Zuckerberg for making me feel so old!